


Multiply and Don't Carry the Two - (Minhyuk)

by smoshyphantrash



Series: Monsta X Imagines [9]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Depression, Dissociation, F/M, Medical Trauma, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Psychological Trauma, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 08:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: Minhyuk and Y/N face a tragedy that doesn't only take their breath away, it almost takes Y/N away from Minhyuk.





	Multiply and Don't Carry the Two - (Minhyuk)

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR TW: Miscarriage, suicide attempt, dissociation. DO NOT pass go, DO NOT collect $200 if you are sensitive to this material. This story came out of a dream I had. I cried when I remembered it.

Minhyuk and I walked into our apartment, quietly and almost hesitantly. The heavy silence was suffocating. I looked around our home and suddenly, nothing looked okay to me. We'd just come from the hospital. I looked on the floor, seeing blood on the carpet. I gingerly walked down the hallway, heading to the bathroom. "Y/N," Minhyuk mumbled as he closed the door. He followed after me but I wasnt turning around. I looked in the bathroom and took in all the blood drips on the floor. I took a step forward and leaned toward the bath. The water was still red. I backed out and walked back to our room.

The bed was stained with blood as well. "I-I'll make the bed," Minhyuk said. I nodded and went to our desk to sit while he did so. My back was turned to him, I'd seen enough blood tonight. Within ten minutes, Minhyuk was grabbing my attention. "Let's go back to bed, baby." He was trying so hard. 

I stood up and looked down at the chair to make sure I hadn't left more blood. I started to climb into bed but Minhyuk stopped me. "No. Uhm... Climb in on my side, baby. It'll be weird, but there's a towel under the sheet..." He didn't want to say too much and I understood. 

As we climbed into bed, I began to cry finally. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry." Minhyuk pulled me into a hug, laying back. "Twins... Nine weeks... Only nine. That's only a fifth of a p-" I shook my head crying so hard.

"Shh," Minhyuk cooed, rocking me back and forth slowly. "It's not your fault. You were doing everything right. They'll be waiting for us. It's okay." I knew he was even struggling to believe that. I cried for hours until fatigue took me under.

It began with sleeping all day, way over 12 hours, crying during my waking hours and barely eating as well as showing no interest in anything.

It got to a point where I was no longer a fully functioning adult. "Y/N, get up sweetheart." Minhyuk sighed, going to the dresser and grabbing some of my clothes. He pulled back the comforter and sat me up. "We have to go to the store, we need a few things." I nodded, looking up at him. "Do you want a shower? You took one last night." I shrugged, directing my gaze down to my lap. "How about a quick wash up?" I nodded again, just agreeing with him. I didn't want to do anything.

Minhyuk leaned down and put my arms around his neck. "Hold on tight," I grabbed on and let him lift me, helping by wrapping my legs around his waist. He headed to the bathroom, sitting me on the counter. "Okay... Can you take your shirt off for me?" Minhyuk asked, putting my clothes on the counter. I stared at him blankly. "Okay, arms up at least." I lifted my arms as he took my shirt off. He went to the bath and soaped up a hand towel. I sat still, watching him patiently. Minhyuk came back over and washed me up quickly and dried me. He then went through my clothing like the habit it'd become. "Bra," I put my arms through the straps and he wrapped his arms around to tighten it. He fixed it and then put on my shirt. "Underwear, pants..." I put on the leggings and underwear, jumping down as he pulled them up together. Minhyuk smiled at me before going into the drawers, grabbing a brush and a hair tie. He quickly doused the brush in water and began to brush my hair back before tying it into a quick messy bun.

That was our routine. He would wake me up and his job of taking care of me began. He'd been doing this for five months now. He would feed me, get things for me, take me wherever he needed to go. But there was one day where I woke up and he wasn't there. He left me. For the first time, I got up for myself and walked around for myself. I headed to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Skin lacked a vivid pigment, dark circles around my eyes. It was quite apparent that I was exhausted. I needed more sleep. But it wasn't easy to sleep without Minhyuk or nightmares about what happened. They deserved to be here by now. They could've survived. Our kids deserved to be here, loved by their parents. I needed to sleep again. I was tired of thinking about it. So, I found some sleeping pills and took a few. Along with that, I took some medicine for my headache. And my antidepressants. Anxiety medicine. Satisfied with everything that was going to be fixed, I sighed and left the bathroom. And that's all I remembered.

Later that night, I came to in a dim lit hospital room. "It's killing her, fucking literally. Five months of taking care of her, making sure she was surviving... I was already going to be late, I should've stayed and did my daily job and taken her with me, like I normally do." Minhyuk sighed, freaking out.

"Hey," Kihyun mumbled, rubbing his back. I opened my eyes up in time to see him lay his head on Kihyun's shoulder, crying.

He sniffled, "I'm losing my family, my heart, my mind..." Minhyuk wiped his tears. "I-I'm not violent. I'm not an angry. To anyone who studies astrology, I'm literally the complete opposite of a Scorpio. But, something's breaking inside of me. I don't know if it's my heart, my patience... Something's breaking and I just want to seriously lash out." I felt bad that I was too far gone to have been able to help him with his own coping.

Kihyun shook his head. "Look at me," he said, holding Minhyuk's face. "No, you don't. You hurt so much and you're finally realizing it. It was always there. You just hurt, Minhyuk. You both do and we hurt with you."

I whined, not wanting to speak. But it was enough for them to notice my consciousness. "Oh my God," Minhyuk rushed to my bedside. "Oh, God... Y/N, baby, I'm so sorry I left you. I shouldn't have. I- You weren't okay to stay alone and I'm sorry." He grabbed my hand. "I has an interview. And, whenever I let Kihyun come over or maybe Hyungwon? I've been working as much as possible. I can't do this by myself, something like this is gonna happen again." He sounded so panicked when explaining to me. "I know you don't want to do anything, but I can't lose you. So other than the bills I've got to pay, I've purchased therapy sessions for you. As many as it takes for you to process and speak and come back to me. I want my girlfriend back, happy, safe and healthy." Minhyuk looked down, beginning to cry again. "Please, baby. Bring her back to me. Please go." He begged.

I nodded softly, but it wasn't enough. "O-Okay," I whispered. He smiled at me, happy to hear my voice.

Three months of therapy, 36 sessions. I was finally somewhat back. I could feed myself, wash and dress myself. I gain my independence back. I talked, I sang, I danced, but I still cried. That wouldn't stop any time soon. I didn't want to be extremely intimate with Minhyuk either. I wasn't there yet. But on the bright side, I was able to hang out with friends again.

One night, Minhyuk and I had a movie night with the boys. But, Minhyuk finally asked me a burning question of his. "Y/N?" He asked. I looked at him, smiling a bit. "W-Why'd you do it?" He asked. "I'm curious and I don't want to push you..."

I nodded and noticed everyone paying attention, obviously. "I..." The words didn't want to come out. "I wanted to be with them. A mother needs to be with her children." No one was prepared for that response. Minhyuk and Jooheon completely lost it, tears starting to pour like no tomorrow. Shownu and Changkyun were shocked, like they were wondering how long I'd thought about this. Since I lost the twins would be the short answer. Wonho didn't want to cry in front of everyone, so he left and Hyungwon ran out to comfort him. Kihyun just looked away to cry.

Minhyuk pulled me into a tight hug. "Baby, we can try again at any time. They're so much safer where they are than here anyway. It's okay. No one is mad at you for this tragedy. You couldn't control that fate, no one could." He kissed my neck, lovingly. "Please don't try it again, we'll have kids one day." 

I nodded, holding onto his waist. "Okay..." I turned and looked at everyone. "I'm sorry for that, guys... Let's do something stupid to lighten the mood." They all agreed and found a stupid movie for us to watch. That night, I let go of it all. I finally forgave myself. I forgave the master of that fate. I forgave and was able to move on.

The next month, I took five pregnancy tests just to make sure. "I can't look. You do it, Minhyuk." He nodded, going over to examine each one. 

He looked up and smiled at me. "I told you we'd do it." I smiled and jumped into his arms, kissing him all over. "Now don't worry. We'll do this, okay?"

I smiled softly, kissing him passionately. "Okay."


End file.
